Skip to main content

There are thousands of ways to keep your relationship interesting, but I’ll give you just a few that will not only make your partner feel loved, but also make you proud of your efforts. The more you invest in your relationship, the more you will get out of it.

— Do something sweet every day.

For my wife, it comes naturally; for me, it takes a bit of creativity and sometimes a mood swing.

That being said, one thing I make a point of doing on a daily basis is finding something to say, show, or give my wife that makes her smile. It can be something as simple as a text message or as complicated as opening the door to a new activity or hobby. I gave my wife an old “Zen Board”, a treasure I found among other things I hadn’t used in years. It’s made of a special matte paper that you brush with water to make patterns that disappear in a minute. My wife plays with it every time she passes by, and I didn’t know she could draw!

— Improve what you already have.

My wife loves to cook and I reap the benefits. Every day is a surprise, because she likes to try new things for her and for me. Last week it was Dragon Fruit (I passed it on, too many seeds), but mostly it’s a candy-like feeling. Cooking is my wife’s domain, but I try to help because, as I said before, when two hearts and four hands make a meal, it’s food for the soul as well as for the body.

Your connection also grows stronger each time you do great things together.

— Do the unusual.

When you experience something you’ve never experienced before as a couple, it creates a hormone called oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone.”

Doing something new together brings us closer to our partners, and it’s usually associated with love, but it doesn’t have to be.

It’s not like you have to go bungee jumping or tandem skydiving. Just going to a new restaurant will do the trick. So will art exhibits, boat rides, and whatever else you wanted to go to but haven’t yet. Try a mini-vacation and check into a hotel for one night.

When it comes to getting the most out of your relationship, there’s no better time than the present to start. The sooner you start, the better you will feel. It’s amazing how when your relationship evolves, so do you both.

And it feels good !

Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning therapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, author of seven books, and blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 27 million readers. He practices in Santa Barbara and Los Angeles and is available for video sessions. Join it at [email protected]. His column appears on Sundays and Tuesdays in the News-Press.