Skip to main content

I can’t tell you how many unhappy husbands I’ve seen in my office over the past decade. They present with all sorts of issues – from infidelity to in-law issues and everything in between.

Yet despite the variety of marriage problems that can arise, some complaints are so widespread and common that they deserve to be singled out.

And if you’re not careful, one or more of these relationship obstacles could lead to insurmountable obstacles to marital happiness.

RELATED: 4 Little Things Husbands Stop Doing Once They’re Married – From Guy Whose Wife Divorced

The good news is that you have the power to become the person you need to overcome those potential potholes – before they cause permanent damage.

RELATED: 5 Little Ways Men Wish They Could Be Loved – Every Day

The eight most common complaints that unhappy husbands make to their wives:

1. She seems grumpy all the time.

When she talks to her husband, the tone of her voice is full of negativity, contempt and criticism.

If he tries to voice a concern or complaint about the marriage, she gets angry defensive and blames him instead of listening to him.

RELATED: I Let The Little Things Slip And He Divorced Me – The 10 Things I Missed

2. She constantly nags and micro-manages

When her husband has a free moment, she throws herself on him and orders him to fix something in the house.

If he’s out with friends, she keeps texting him asking when he’ll be home.

Basically, she’s a married version of the nagging, micro-managing boss.

RELATED: New Relationships That Turn into ‘Forever Love’ All Have One Thing in Common

3. She stops her advances

If he winks at her, she will roll her eyes. If he looks for his wife in bed, she will turn her back on him.

On those rare occasions when she gives in and has sex, she lies there staring at the ceiling, waiting for it to be over.

RELATED: 7 Secret Ways To Create Emotional Intimacy That Lasts

4. She stops caring about herself

Whether she stopped exercising or started wearing sweatpants, she let herself go and lost her energy and enthusiasm for life.

To be honest, that’s not one of the main complaints I hear from men. However, a woman who feels unattractive often withdraws – emotionally and physically – from her marriage.

And that’s something husbands complain about.

RELATED: 4 Big Mistakes I Made As A Wife (Psst! I’m The Ex-Wife Now)

5. She makes being a “mom” her main personality trait.

She’s much more excited about a “Mommy and Me” date than a romantic evening with her hubby.

Just keep in mind that often a child-centered marriage doesn’t feel like a wedding at all; it’s daycare.

RELATED: My Wife Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink

6. He’s an alpha parent

As the leader of the parental pack, she lashes out at her husband whenever he tries to be a father or raise his children the way he sees fit.

As a result, she deprives the children of the care and discipline of a father and drives a wedge between her and her husband.

7. She’s not grateful

Whether her husband has worked significant overtime at work or spent his entire long weekend building the deck she wants, she takes his efforts for granted and shows no appreciation for anything he does. for her or for the family.

RELATED: 4 Big Mistakes I Made As A Husband (Psst! I’m The Ex-Husband Now)

8. She doesn’t have her own “thing”

She has no interests or hobbies outside of marriage or home (no, Facebook is not a hobby).

It makes her company predictable and bland who rarely seems to have anything interesting to add to a conversation.

If you’re worried that the passion in your marriage is starting to fade, don’t panic.

RELATED: 3 Secret Reasons Men End Up Ditching ‘Good’ Women

Instead, carefully consider your answers to these four questions:

  • How can you bring more positivity and romance into your marriage?
  • How can you make your husband feel more appreciated and wanted?
  • How can you make him a loving and capable parent?
  • How can you make him happy?

Believe it or not, working to make your husband happy is the surest way to motivate him to make you happy. Like attracts like. Loving and grateful behavior attracts loving and grateful behavior. Positivity and enthusiasm attract positivity and enthusiasm.

Pleasure and affection attract pleasure and affection. Sometimes it really is that simple.

Of course, it takes two to tango and the men have to do their part too. That said, there’s nothing stopping you from taking the lead and doing what you can to make your marriage happier, sexier, and stronger…starting today.

RELATED: Married Couples Who Stay Together Do These 7 Things Every Year

Debra MacLeodBA, JD is a relationship writer, coach, and marriage mediator.

Subscribe to the free YourTango newsletter!

This article was originally published on Huffington Post. Reprinted with permission from the author.